Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
