The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
