um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
