I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
