So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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