hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I will pee on everything he values.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
