Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
