If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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