I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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