So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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