wrigley field is MILF paradise
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
