i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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