I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
