This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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