Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
