Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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