well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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