He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
