she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I love you. Go after that dick
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
