nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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