Porn is love you can see.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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