there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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