Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
