I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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