Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
