If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
