Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
