why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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