She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
