i jhust puked up my retainher.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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