Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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