I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
