who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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