Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
