No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
