But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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