I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
