Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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