I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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