Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes

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(678): View more from Georgia

You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.

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(618): View more from Illinois

When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two

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(919): View more from North Carolina

she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me

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(206): View more from Washington

In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.

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(641): View more from Iowa

The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out

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