sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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