Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I will pee on everything he values.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
