dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
