I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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