You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
