he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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