I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
