Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
