I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
