Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
