do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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